Good clean fun
So, Fruitstock. It was, as one of my companions put it, "London's premier middle youth event", and that's no mean feat when you consider it was in competition with Ben & Jerry's-sponsored Sundae festival on Clapham Common.
Actually it was a most enjoyable afternoon, which doesn't mean I'm not about to lazily reduce it to a series of meaningless statistics:
Smoothies drunk: 4, plus various tastings
Time spent waiting in queue for fried meat and bread products: 7 minutes
Slebs spotted: 3 (TV's Tracey Cox*, Juliet Stevenson** and Vanessa Feltz***)
Time spent pondering ice cream flavours: 4 minutes
Bands actively listened to: 0
Time spent dozing off in sun: 25 minutes (approx)
Patches of sunburn acquired: 3
Frequency of mobile phone-based cricket score checks: every 15 minutes
Families with annoying children within hearing range at any one time: 6
* This doesn't officially count as she was 'working' at the flirting tent
** Admittedly this was someone else's spot, not mine
*** Wearing the day's most ill-advised dress
posted by Pashmina @ 10:27 AM
12 comments
12 Comments:
Ugh! Are you serious, that's Vanessa Feltz? You would thing she'd be able to afford something better than a dishrag to wear. Shocking.
Oh dear she looks worse in than that photo than she did in the flesh. And by flesh I mean, clad in that purple monstrosity.
My Tracey Cox photos aren't much more flattering!
It's not by any means good, is it?
Do please share your Ms Cox pictures, there aren't enough over-sized sunglasses and shiny hair in my world today.
See, I've put on dresses like that which looked wonderful LAST summer, but I took one look myself in the mirror and decided on something slightly more flattering.
there aren't enough over-sized sunglasses and shiny hair in my world today
In that case I urge you to take a little saunter down Chiswick High Road. I've been cultivating the anti-straight, shiny, blonde hair backlash since Feb 26th this year and I'm pleased to report it's been going pretty well so far. Clearly the world of minor female celebrity has yet to catch up with my stylistic lead, though. Come on!
PS - there was a flirting tent? How did that work, then?
*So* fashion forward, as always, patroclus; straight hair has been officially over for at least a season now. However clearly the news has yet to filter through to West London.
The flirting tent was disappointingly lame, as it happens. I had been hoping for serried ranks of libidinous youngsters making cow eyes at each other across a crowded marquee, but it just turned out to be la Cox (shiny hair and all) giving 'tips' every couple of hours.
There were also a few laminated placards strewn around the place containing more (or possibly the same, I didn't really hang around to find out) suggested techniqes (eg "twiddle your hair", "make eye contact" - you get the idea).
Apart from the guest star, the main "flirting" concept seemed to revolve around large 'Saturday girl' and 'Saturday boy' boards, on which punters stuck polaroids of themselves containing "clues of where to find you in the park", which hopeful singletons were supposed to commit to memory before setting off in search of whoever caught their eye.
Sadly I am not able to report on the relative levels of failure or success of this rather haphazard technique.
"Surreptitiously velcro your combat trousers to the combat trousers of someone you fancy..."
I've tried something similar at the Garden Centre, getting my fruit netting entwined in the trellis work of some bloke. I'll have a better look before I try it next time.
serried ranks of libidinous youngsters
...wins my "Phrase Of The Day" award.
Thank you. I was quite proud of that one.
Going back to Feltz - yes - what was she thinking?
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