Cheat's post

There's shaping up to be a bit of a theme to this week's posts. It's "ideas I've nicked off other people". This is because I'm a bit too busy with Important Life Developments this week to be wildly inventive. Anyway, here's the Random Question Meme, via Annie Slaminsky (and Billy's done it too).

Have you had sex in the past 24 hours? I doubt it.
Are you gay? Having given it due consideration over the years, I think it unlikely that I am.
Do you have hairy legs? Never. At least not in the summer.
Do you smoke anything? Not any more...
Do you like monkeys? Not especially. I'm not much of an animal person.
How many fillings do you have? More than I'm happy to count. Bad teeth run in the family.
Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake? Ocean. I abhor stagnant water.
Have you ever licked one of those square batteries? Why on earth would anyone want to do that?
Have you ever read the Bible? What, all of it? What do you think I am, a rabbi?
Did you ever go to Sunday School? Yes. Mainly because my best friend and I fancied a couple of brothers who also went… Inevitably, not long afterwards they moved back to America and we were stuck with the classes. Clearly they weren't very effective though, they were of a Presbyterian nature.
Do you wear a lot of black? Yes, but only in season.
Did you ever bring a weapon to school? Funnily enough flicknives weren't big in North London private girls' schools in the '80s.
Have you ever hugged a tree? I was all set to make a sarcastic response here when I remembered that there's a very good chance I tried to hug the ash tree in my parents' garden when I was about four…
Do you know what a sphincter actually is? I do, yes.
Describe your hair? Too much of it, wrong colour (brown, but not dark enough), habit of looking great immediately before I step out of my front door and appalling ninety seconds later. But I'd miss it if it weren't there.
Are you a wildbeast? No, I am a human female.
Do you like to have fun? I like to enjoy myself. I do not like being told to have fun, or asked if I am having it.
Do you like drama? On television or film, yes; on the stage, occasionally; in actual life, mostly, especially if it's happening to other people. Preferably other people about whom I don't really care all that much.
Have you ever taken a bong hit? Those were the days....
Do you like mayonnaise? Mmmmmayonnaise… and chips, please.
Are you afraid to die? Put it this way: I'd rather not be conscious when it happens.
Do you like playing in leaves? As specified above, I am a woman not a puppy.
Have you ever peed your pants as an adult? Not that I can recall. And I have a pretty good memory.
Have you ever thrown up on somebody as an adult? No, but I know some funny stories about people who have
Are you an adult? I think it would be disingenuous to deny it.
Ever won a spelling bee? Not that I've ever entered one, but I so would.
Do you ever eat because you’re depressed? Not any more.
Are you a television addict? I love telly, but am perfectly capable of switching it off when necessary, thank you.
Do you think OJ was guilty? Probably. But it's not something that keeps me awake at night.
Do you enjoy spending time with your mother? It very much depends on what kind of mood she's in.
Have you ever had sex in a hot tub? I am not now, nor have I ever been, a contestant on Big Brother.
On a swing? I get motion sickness.
Do you like Elvis? Up to a point.
Do you enjoy watching animals "do it" on the Discovery channel? I don't have the Discovery channel. Actually I'm not really one for the natural history programmes anyway (it goes with not being an animal person), so even if I had it I almost certanly wouldn't watch it.
Ever been hit on at a zoo? No. Once again, I'm not really an animal person.
Have you ever had sex with a total stranger? Erm… That depends on how you define "total stranger"…
Do you enjoy the calming effects of turkeys? It takes more than a turkey to calm me down.
Does your mom [sic] think someone is hot? Gregory Peck, James Mason and Alan Price, I believe. The first two are now dead, so things aren't looking so great for my mother (or "mum" as I like to call her).
Are you a sugar freak? I am not a "freak" about anything.
Ever been arrested? I once stole some traffic cones (I know, I know...) at university in full view of a couple of policemen. They looked at me witheringly and told me to put them back. I did.
Ever commit a crime and get away with it? Nothing that would get me jailed. I think.
Do you like orange juice? Yes, but only if it's freshly squeezed. I am very fussy like that.
What sign are you? Gemini, but horoscopes are all bollocks and you know it.
Ever do the party boy dance in front of the elderly? Do what now?
Where do you wish you were right now? In Regent's Park, with a picnic, my book, and a companion.
Did you enjoy this? I did, actually. God I am such an egomaniac.


tags: me me me, meme